This Is For You

“This is for you:I miss you like hell. I know that maybe right now there isn’t enough room for me in your life and that’s okay. It’s not something you need to apologize for because I love you too goddamn much to ever want you to do anything but what makes you happy. So I hope you’re happy and I hope that wherever it is you are, you find yourself smiling even on the bad days. I hope that you have people who never let you forget that you are loved. Because you are loved and you deserve to know it. 

I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll see you again soon. Until then, I wish you laughter and good times. Until then, I want you to know that you don’t need to apologize for anything. Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. You there and me here and both of us sharing our lives with other people but not with each other. 
I guess what I’m trying to say is- I’m hoping that the universe will give us another chance. I’ve always believed deeply in second chances and perhaps someday we could try again, and if it happens that we cannot, then remember this- I have loved you from beginning to end. I will always. ”

I am tired of telling this story

“I am tired of writing this story. 
The one in which you never stop leaving. 
The one in which I never stop waiting. 
I am tired of writing this story. 
The one in which you don’t love me at all.
The one in which I love you more than I love myself. 
I am tired of writing this story. 
The one in which you never stop hurting me. 
The one in which I never stop looking back. 
This story is getting old now. 
Everybody’s tired. 
I am tired.
By the time I am done with this sorry attempt at a poem, there won’t be any applause. 
Everybody’s heard this story a million times before. 
Even strangers shiver at the mention of your name without knowing why. 
I don’t just shiver. 
My knees stop working. 
My feet don’t move. 
I realize I am right where you left me. 
I am telling this story from the only place you know from the inside out. 
I am telling this story for the millionth time and in my own ways, I am crazy. 
I’m tired of telling this story. 
The ending isn’t ever any different. 
I am at the end of this sorry attempt at a poem and nobody is clapping. 
There isn’t anything beautiful about hanging on to what you have to let go of.”