“This is for you:I miss you like hell. I know that maybe right now there isn’t enough room for me in your life and that’s okay. It’s not something you need to apologize for because I love you too goddamn much to ever want you to do anything but what makes you happy. So I hope you’re happy and I hope that wherever it is you are, you find yourself smiling even on the bad days. I hope that you have people who never let you forget that you are loved. Because you are loved and you deserve to know it.
I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll see you again soon. Until then, I wish you laughter and good times. Until then, I want you to know that you don’t need to apologize for anything. Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. You there and me here and both of us sharing our lives with other people but not with each other. I guess what I’m trying to say is- I’m hoping that the universe will give us another chance. I’ve always believed deeply in second chances and perhaps someday we could try again, and if it happens that we cannot, then remember this- I have loved you from beginning to end. I will always. ”
You told me that if I ever need you, no matter what time of day it is, that you’d be a phone call away. I called you last night at 3 am sobbing so hard my sheets couldn’t muffle the sound but you didn’t pick up. I don’t know if it’s just ironic or a sign.
I asked you who she was and you told me she was nobody. I wonder if you’ll say the same thing about me when she asks who I am.
When you told me about how you always feel sick I told you I would be there and do anything for you. But last night when I told you that I feel really sad sometimes you said that you didn’t have time to deal with my baggage. I guess you only have enough time for your own.
When you said you were tired, I couldn’t tell if you were saying you were tired of me or tired of us. I guess it was a combination of both, but apparently you’re not too tired for her. I don’t know if it’s life playing a joke or just me but I haven’t slept all fucking week.
I know forever is a long time, but you still promised it to me when your forever wasn’t yours to give away. Not when you promised it to every other fucking girl that made it easier for you to sleep at night.”
This goes out to all of the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover would put all the pieces back where they belong and everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people that are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if sometimes it feels a little empty. For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity in tact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured. For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it’s better just to let go.
I’ve made a lot of choices along the way in my life and when I look at where I am today I don’t regret them and somehow I think if I didn’t go for what I felt was right for me at that time I wouldn’t have been where I am today.
I often sit and think about loads of stuffs, about the people I left behind and if I would ever get to see them again. Sometimes it’s hard to think and when reality hits knowing that there are some people you left behind making the choices you made that most probably you won’t get to see them again.
My life is not perfect but I have strived and along the journey, I grew and became a better person. I may not have everything in life but I thank God for all that I’ve got now and everything HE blessed me with.
I understand that sometimes when you choose to live a different set of life and wants different things from other people, you have to make choices where sometimes you might regret but I guess life is such as you can’t have everything rosy and life is all about the choices you make, good or bad.
But I know someday I will be grateful that some people are worth leaving behind for the choices that made me a better person I always wanted to be. If not for the choices I’ve made I would not have been to places I have been and experience life the way I never expected.
Life is about growing up and you leave people you love and care about behind, you make sacrifices and most times it’s always for the best