This Is For You 

“This is for you:I miss you like hell. I know that maybe right now there isn’t enough room for me in your life and that’s okay. It’s not something you need to apologize for because I love you too goddamn much to ever want you to do anything but what makes you happy. So I hope you’re happy and I hope that wherever it is you are, you find yourself smiling even on the bad days. I hope that you have people who never let you forget that you are loved. Because you are loved and you deserve to know it. 

I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll see you again soon. Until then, I wish you laughter and good times. Until then, I want you to know that you don’t need to apologize for anything. Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. You there and me here and both of us sharing our lives with other people but not with each other. 
I guess what I’m trying to say is- I’m hoping that the universe will give us another chance. I’ve always believed deeply in second chances and perhaps someday we could try again, and if it happens that we cannot, then remember this- I have loved you from beginning to end. I will always. ”

Changes

“Don’t worry- I’ve accepted that he’s not mine to keep anymore. I’ve only allowed him to keep being part of who I am because whether I wanted to love him or not- I loved him. I loved him and it changed me and I understand now that I could never be who I was then. Whether he ever really loved me or not- I know he’s found things in hisself that he doesn’t recognize sometimes. Love is strange in that way- if you love someone it changes you and if someone loves you- it changes you just the same.”

5000 Words

“Delete her number. 


Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.



Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.



She loves you.



She has been in love with you for too long.



So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.



Forget her.



Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.



Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.



Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.



What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.



Doggedly loyal to you.



That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?



She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.



Right now.



But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.”

Old is still Gold

I don’t see myself as an old fashioned person. I like to think as open minded as I am I still reserve some good old traditional values in me. But it truly baffles me when it comes to the mentality of some people and their personal agenda.
What gets me wonder most of the time is what are people’s value of memories and bond built over time. I believe that two people get together not because it’s by choice but in a very special way two people are connected. I don’t believe that two people just meet and got together, I believe in destiny and every happens for a reason.
I hold sentiments very close to me because I believe those are what cannot be bought with money, and they are the most priceless thing that two people share. I’m bamboozled by how people can drop everything in a split second and forget about moments shared and move on.
What I’m trying to say is, even though we live in a modern world does that make it ok for people to just live and let go of things and people that once meant something to them? Irregardless of what could or may be the reason behind that ending of all that but aren’t we all suppose to give ourselves some time to think about what was so special and the reasons why those moments were made.
I rather grow old to know that I have tried to make things work when we have differences instead of throwing things away when it gets hard. Old is still gold.

Time of my life…

I’m feeling blessed because I feel as if my world slowly starting to make sense and things are beginning to fall into place somehow. Moments like these makes you feel that all those struggles and sacrifices done was all worth … Continue reading